Horrible Rotten Very Bad Day(s)

Monday went pretty well. Tuesday got worse. So far today is even worse. Why is it when Tim leaves town all manner of things happen? I so very much want to be "with it" and keep the world spinning while Tim is away, but the honest truth is is that it usually is very difficult and I usually end up feeling like a complete failure as far as a mother and human being. Gone are my ideals of having Tim walk in and reporting that we had a marvelous time and all is well with the children and the world. I'd really stink at being a single mom. If God decides to take Tim, he had better take me with him 'cause I can't do this alone.

Last week before I left for the conference, the dryer and the oven broke. Actually I broke the oven trying to clean it (talk about guilt). Evidently that is what I get for trying to clean the oven. I lifted the heating element to wipe the junk out of the bottom before using the self cleaning function (just as the instructions tell you to do). Well, it shorted out, tripped the breaker, shocked and created a huge spark (neato.). A wire totally fried and we are now waiting on the replacement part (thank God for RepairClinic.com). Thankfully the stove top and the broiler work... but I do miss baking. We've grilled quite a lot this last week or so :) The dryer's heating element was on it's last leg for nearly a year, but at least we had the forethought to order a new part before (again Thanks to RepairClinic.com) and Tim repaired that last week. I'm ever so thankful for a handy husband. He has saved us fortunes by fixing stuff himself.

The kids all go nuts when Tim isn't here. His stabilizing force keeps the calm. Hannah and this play with the ever increasing practice times and every increasing lack of information has been very tiring. We had to arrange help to get her home while Tim was away since the kids are all in bed and I can't leave them to go get her (20 minutes one way... gotta love the boon docks!). So now, not only is she having to be there earilier and earlier, and getting home at Lord-knows-when, she is making our friends have to wait at the curb for nearly an hour. Not a good thing in our house. We are trying to be understanding, but keeping kids out after ten on a school night is really pushing it in my opinion. The play is this weekend, so at least the end is in sight. God help us make it through tonight's rehearsal.

So far today Quin was up at 12:30 AM hungry because he wouldn't eat dinner last night. So I fed him. I didn't get to bed until after 1:00 AM due to being a worried, angry mess that Hannah wasn't home and I had no idea where she was and then feeding Quin. Quin was up again at 3:30 AM with his leg twisted through his crib slat (not hurt, just stuck). Then he got up at 6:30 wanting breakfast, that he wouldn't eat. Perhaps it is still his teeth, but I have little sympathy at this point. Read on. I've not had much sleep (not a good ingredient). Hannah was up late, of course, because she didn't get home until after 10:00. She rushed through a shower and tried to wear her dirty clothes to school... that was a molehill I would really have rather done without this morning. Jot spilled jelly all down the front of him and gave me an attitude when I told him he'd have to change his shirt. What is it with wearing dirty clothes to school? At least Emma was dressed in something clean (probably too cold for shorts, but at least it was clean... she'll learn). Quin refused breakfast. I ate mine and his and then somemore. Somehow it seems as though food does help stress, though I know with my head that isn't true. I sat down with my tea and got ready to read my Bible. Got up to do something (bathroom maybe? I don't remember now), put my Bible in the middle of the kitchen table (what I thought was well out of reach) and came back a few minutes later to Quin tearing the pages into little bits. I had to take a quick walk to calm down and I'm still upset about it. 15 years worth of notes in that Bible and several parts of Psalms are now in bitty pieces. I actually screamed something totally unintelligible to no one in particular. It seemed to help some.

I have since tried to tape and glue the pages back in, though I still have two parts that I cannot find where they came from. I imagine this is a lot like what the guys that found the Dead Sea Scrolls had to do. I'll use BlueletterBible.org and try to locate the passages so I can find where they are supposed to go. Now I need to decide if I try to make do with this or buy a new Bible. I hate the idea of both options. I really, really love my Bible. It is a Cambridge Concord and hard to find (and not real cheap even though I only have to pay cost). I know the bookstore in Philly can order another, but what about all my years and years worth of margin notes? Ugh. It just makes me sick. I know Quin doesn't have the ability to know what he was doing, but gosh I hate it. This is worse than when I lost three roles of film in the mail. That sick feeling stuck around for months but there was nothing anyone could do to fix it.

For a bit more than a week now, I'm also missing my KitchenAid mixer attachments. I found the dough hook but cannot find the whisk and the flat mixer thing. We've looked everywhere, twice. Quin loved to bang them with the pots and pans and I just have this sinking feeling they made it into the trash (a new game Quin plays). Emma's chore is to empty the trash and she would never have considered that it was heavier than normal or there was anything amiss. We put the trash behind a closed door for safety, but it has been out a lot recently with all the painting and work we've been doing in the living room and the kitchen (and another reason a heavier-than-normal bag wouldn't create suspicion). I'm looking at $35 plus shipping to replace them. I just can't give in yet, I still think they might be somewhere here. I know if I do order replacements, we'll find the originals the day the replacements arrive.

So this whine and vent post is nearly over. I put Quin back to bed and I think he is actually sleeping. I'm sure I'll be trading in his afternoon nap, but at least Tim will be home by bedtime and I can have some quiet now. I'm breaking our house rule and letting Faith watch a movie on a school day. Gosh, am I pathetic or what?