Thoughts on Circumstances and Sufferings

The next chapter for our Ladies Study is Lies Women Believe About Circumstances. I came across some powerful quotes in this section that I felt led to share.

[When we say I wouldn't be...if he/she/they didn't/weren't....] we are saying someone or something made me the way I am. We feel that if our circumstance were different - our upbringing, our environment, the people around us - we would be different. We would be more patient, more loving, more content, easier to live with.

If our circumstances make us what we are, then we are all victims. And that's just what the Enemy wants us to believe. Because if we are victims, then we aren't responsible - we can't help the way we are. But God says we are responsible - not for the failures of others, but for our own responses and lives. The Truth is, our
circumstances do not make us what we are. They merely reveal what we are.

I just love how Nancy Leigh DeMoss sums this up. It is so true. And it is so easy to fall into the cycle of blame shifting. The culture seems to continually feed us lies about how victimized we are in all areas. I know there are true victims among us, but too often we (I) blame my sinful response on someone else's behavior (be it right or wrong). One example she gives in her book is the mother of twins who claims, in exasperation, that she was never an impatient person until she had twins. The truth is, that she was always an impatient person. She just didn't realize how impatient she was until God introduced the circumstances to show her what she was really like... and I love this part.... so He could change her.
Nancy goes on...

The Truth is, if we are not content within our present circumstances, we are not likely to be happy in any other set of circumstances.

Then she quotes Elizabeth Prentiss (I love her writing!) who wrote to a friend upon learning that she and her husband were leaving all they knew behind and moving from New York to Chicago in the midst of her own health concerns.

We want to know no will but God's in this question...The experience of the past winter would impress upon me the fact that place and position have next to nothing to do with happiness; that we can be wretched in a palace, radiant in a dungeon...perhaps this heartbreaking is exactly what we need to remind us... that we are pilgrims and strangers on the earth.

Then of course we can't forget Paul. In Philippians 4:11-12 he reminds us that "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances, I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
The next section goes into suffering. Does this sound like a dismal, depressing book? It really isn't, trust me! Arthur Mathews served as a missionary in China and was one of the last to leave in 1953. He wrote this powerful stuff:

We tend to look at the circumstances of life in terms of what they may do to our cherished hopes and convenience, and we shape our decisions and reactions accordingly. When a problem threatens, we rush to God, not to seek his perspective, but to ask him to deflect the trouble. Our self-concern takes priority over whatever it is that God might be trying to do through the trouble...
An escapist generation reads security, prosperity, and physical well-being as evidences of God's blessing. Thus when he puts suffering and affliction into our hands, we misread his signals and misinterpret his intentions.

Wow. That just blows me away because I see it is so true. It is all around us and even in me more often than I care to admit. Don't we read into suffering just as Job's friends did? Too often we rush to judgement against God for allowing such things, but how often do we (I) go to him seeking wisdom, perspective and instruction through the suffering?
Just a few more closing quotes from Nancy:

God is far more interested in our holiness than in our immediate, temporal happiness - He knows that apart from being holy, we can never be truly happy. The Truth is, it is impossible to be holy apart from suffering. Even Jesus Himself, during His years here on earth, was in some unexplainable way made "perfect through suffering" (Hebrews 2:10) and "although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered" (Hebrews 5:8). We say we want to be like Jesus, and then we resist the very instrument God chooses to fulfill that desire.
...there is a redemptive, sanctifying fruit that cannot be produced in our lives apart from suffering. "To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps" (I Peter 2:21)
True joy is not the absence of pain but the sanctifying, sustaining presence of the Lord Jesus in the midst of the pain. "The God of all Grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." (I Peter 5:10)

I can't say why all this especially touched me as I studied this week. It isn't anything exactly new and unique to me, but it does seem to be a great reminder for me. I struggle quite often with seeing others in similar places that seem to have little if any suffering. I think it was Elizabeth Elliot that said suffering is any lack of something desired. I sometimes feel as though we are the only ones that go with unfulfilled desires. Perhaps the reminder for me is: rather than comparing my sufferings to other people, I ought to compare my sufferings to Christ's as I take up my own cross and follow Him (Matthew 10: 38).

Proof that I don't have it all together (in case anyone thought I did).

brag (v): to praise or express pride in one's own possessions, qualities, or accomplishments often to excess.

I'm in a mood and am finding there isn't an appropriate way to express this directly, so I'll use my blog to vent and hope that eases the frustration some. God help me. I'll get it out this way. Do you ever feel like telling someone... OK, ENOUGH ALREADY!! I'm sure there is some psychological aspect of jealousy at play here in some regard, but honestly after days and days and days I just am sick of hearing about it. Is this the appropriate time to reply "How nice for you!" ? I guess just saying "shut up" isn't a very polite response either is it?

I think I could use some sunshine and warm weather today. It is snowing though.

Birthday Kids and New Snow

First up in the photo category is Master Quin. This is one from his actual birthday (if that weren't obvious). It took us five kids before we figured out the easiest way to do cake was in nothing but a diaper. The hat was an impulse purchase at Party City, but I thought it'd be cute. And it is. Isn't it? Wouldn't it be fun to get a picture of him every birthday in his prince hat? I can see him at 27 complaining that his dorky mom insists on doing this every year. Well maybe.

He is doing considerably better in the health department. We saw the ENT Wednesday who, thankfully, has a conservative approach. He determined that indeed he still had fluid in his ears (though he had just completed a round of Augmentin). Evidently the fluid has turned to a glue type stuff that, though not infected, isn't draining in time to miss getting infected again with the next bug that happens to land on poor Quin. This has been going on since Thanksgiving, and therefore, it was not my imagination that he has been miserable for months. The thing we're trying now is another two week round of heavier antibiotics to give the gluey-fluid time to actually fully drain in hopes that a combination of spring weather (eventually) and a growing child will result in no new infections. We go back in three weeks to re-evaluate. At that time if fluid is still there, we'll talk tubes. In just the couple of days since then I can tell he feels better though. He's happy again and he is babbling endlessly. I think the fluid was surely begining to affect his hearing, so I'm even more glad that we proceeded with the ENT guy. Maybe he will feel good enough to tackle walking soon too :)

Next we have Emma. She loves to be photographed and is becoming quite the poser! This is one of many that came out well. I purposely tried to scale back on her birthday pictures as I usually takes way too many. It is so easy when you have such a willing subject :)

I am sure many of you reading watch the weather occasionally. I guess you probably saw the huge snowstorm that hit yesterday into this morning. Yes it is all true. We got the biggest snow of the year. At least 18 inches is our guess. The wind is blowing it everywhere and there was a drift over the tail of Tim's car. It is pretty though, that is for certain. I do love the snow. Last year we got snow in April, so we can get more. The old snow had just begun to melt last week and I even went out without a coat on Thursday, but I didn't think it was really spring yet. Tim and the kids shoveled most of the morning and the walk is done and the van is uncovered. Tim cancelled church Thursday night when the icing first began and then we had to cancel the Pizza Night at church last night. This snow sure can throw a wrench into plans pretty quickly! It still has been a very mild winter this season.


I forgot to mention that today is the first day since last Sunday that I'm not coughing! I went to the doctor on Monday and am finally feeling better. The top of the microwave looked like a pharmacy this week. Faith, Quin, Me, Tim and Hannah were all on something this week. For that reason alone, I do hope spring is coming. The mild winter seems to have allowed all those germs to survive and infect my family. It has been a difficult time and I'll be glad to see health restored to us all.

Catching Up

I cannot believe that over a month has passed since my last post. Actually, with the way things have been going I think maybe I can. After looking at a calendar, we determined that, other than about 10 days, Quinton has been sick since Thanksgiving. He sees an ENT this Wednesday to discuss putting tubes in his ears. I'd like to wait to see if spring brings health to him, but on the other hand, I'm tired of him feeling bad. I'm sleep deprived and feeling overwhelmed with life lately, so perhaps my judgement is a bit skewed. I guess five kids do that to a person. Faith is currently recovering from a double ear infection and Tim and I both have horrible coughs that won't go away. I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon and Tim is going to Urgent Care in Philly. Hannah began coughing over the weekend, but so far Jot and Emma seem alright. It has been such a horrible winter for illness. That alone, makes me ready for spring.

Tim and I have discovered our library's A&E's Horatio Hornblower series... fabulous! I was literally on the edge of the couch. We've watched the first 3 of 4 from the first series. There are two more sets after this one, so we have several date nights worth of Horatio to watch.

Quinton celebrated his first birthday on the 2nd. He wasn't feeling very well, and therefore I have no good photos to post just yet. I hope to get some portrait type pictures after he is fully well again. Emma marked 7 years last Friday (the 9th). I have no pictures to share of her either, but that is because they are still on my camera. It's added to my ever-increasing to-do list.

Having the kids out the house has enabled me to reclaim some cleanliness, but the process is far from complete. Those of you familiar with Messies Anonymous will understand when I say that I am about 1/3 of the way through Mount Vernon-izing the house. I'm eager to tackle the kitchen, but am trying to keep that until last so as not to be discouraged.

Our taxes are complete and we try to patiently wait our refund. After much discussion and looking at some of Mary Hunt's recommendations, we will pay down some on the mortgage and spread some over the year to make up for the ridiculous school tax increase ($200+ a month) and use the remainder to replace the sliding doors upstairs. The cost of living here has increased so much in the last year. It's quite discouraging to not be able to just have the money to finish the house. I am trusting that patience will win out and all will be well. I'm thankful for the space we have here and I do like the house. It is the continual lesson that our lives are on God's schedule, not mine.

The book study went well last night. We are nearly finished with the book (Lies Women Believe) and many of the ladies have expressed how enjoyable and challenging the study has been. That is good to hear! We have a retreat opportunity this spring, but it looks like most of the ladies will wait for the one in the fall. I won't be going this spring either as the school play is that weekend. Of course I need to be there for Hannah's debue!

Well that is a quick update of life here. I will try to post some pictures soon and keep more "current" with things.